Instant blue-collar trash chocolate cake. (In four minutes.)

Probably the fastest cake you'll ever make, with a preparation time of less than four minutes from wanting it to eating it.
This recipe is for a sudden single portion of chocolate cake freshly baked on demand. It uses simple ingredients mixed in a paper cup (or a normal cup) and blasted to steamy cakeness in a microwave.

Here's the recipe:-
3 heaped teaspoons of white sugar.
3 heaped teaspoons of self-raising flour.
1 heaped teaspoon of cocoa (optional)

Mix those dry ingredients in the cup to get a consistent colour, making sure you catch the stuff hiding down at the edges of the base.

Add two level teaspoons of oil.
Add two 25ml shot-glasses of milk (50ml)

Mix all ingredients to a paste and then slam in the microwave and nuke for one and a half minutes at full power.

Eat hot cake. You can also drizzle it with chocolate sauce, cream or a sweet liqueur if you wish. (Or indeed all three.)